convey "but" vs. "and"

by:Hengju     2019-06-26
Two three-Letter words: "but" and "and ".In grammatical terms, they are called connectives.They connected the two clauses of a sentence.In communication (and negotiation), these words are subtle operators of exclusion or inclusion.In general, "but" excludes, denies, discounts, or in some way rejects the previous clause.For example, the statement "she is a very productive employee, but she may be a little harsh" goes with "She is a very productive employee, she may be a little harsh.In the first example, "but" tends to express the negation of the first clause of the sentence, whereas it tends to the second clause of the sentence.In the next example, "and" tends to convey the inclusion of the first and second clauses.Another example: "Yes, I know you need to meet me before tomorrow's meeting, but my schedule is full""Yes, I know you need to meet me before tomorrow's meeting and my schedule is full.\ "In this example, by using" and "instead of" but ", not only did the speaker avoid negating the original terms, also communicated to the audience that his/her concerns about the need to be met were acknowledged.Using "and" is also a more gentle way of rejecting.For example, the typical "Yes, but" can be easily replaced with "Yes, and.For example, the request "we need to buy a new computer" can be used "Yes, I know, but we won't be able to" or "until next year. Yes, I know, we won't be able to do it until next year."And" "do not deny" yes ", and" but "does convey a feeling of" but "before canceling.The use of "but" is very common.In fact, few people really recognize the subtle impact of using.If you consciously try to change "but" to "and", you will notice how strange the feeling is.But if it is a worthwhile exercise other than to become more comfortable with the ability to switch from one to the other.There may be a more important reason, however: using "and" instead of "but" can positively influence the conversation.When using "and" instead of "but", there is a feeling of tolerance and acceptance even if the conclusion is no or no.Try it in the next few days.Listen to other people's sentences and when you hear "but" change it to "and" in your own mind ".Then start listening to your own sentences.Change it to "and" When you hear yourself saying "but", but remember one thing...oops...Remember one thing...
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